Practice Reframing Negative Self-Talk

Illuminate Beauty. Peel Away Dated Attitudes.

Reframing negative self-talk is easier said than done. Let’s give it a try. What happens when you compare the concept of reframing negative self-talk to a beauty ritual? What if reframing became a metaphor for applying a luxurious moisturizer to dry, flaky skin? Interested? Can’t you already feel a lift in your mood?

To support your reframing negative self-talk effort, follow the steps below:

  1. When you assess dry skin to notice where to apply moisturizer, observe the thoughts and words that emerge when you pick yourself apart. Notice how these thoughts and words make you feel. Pause here for a moment before going to step two. Don’t you sometimes look in the mirror at the dry skin and have an oh dear moment of self-compassion before moving on? The pause is an integral part of reframing negative self-talk.

  3. Let go! Once your words are identified, take a breath. Pause again. Then, like saying bye-bye to the patch of dry skin, say bye-bye to the habit of picking yourself apart. Do so by actively saying the words “enough and goodbye.” Do this every time you recognize the need for reframing negative self-talk, which starts when you hear yourself say the words you identified in step one.

  5. Keeping in mind the metaphor, luxurious moisturizer, think of a memory or current moment when you feel/felt alive and at your most beautiful self.

  7. Now, let’s apply the moisturizer. Consciously, direct the positive felt experience of your memory towards your heart. And, like you give luxurious moisturizer time to soak into your skin to work its magic, pause as you focus on feeling the feelings of joy, accomplishment, and confidence that accompany your memory.

  9. Stretch it out. To get the most out of reframing negative self-talk, bask for just a few more moments in the glow of self-renewal. Research shows this extra download step, soaking, changes your brain chemistry and takes you into a more positive state of wellbeing.

  11. Repeat the reframing negative self-talk practice as needed.


Copyright 2021© Joan Shaver, LMFT


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Empower the Feminine!

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