Think about it for a moment. Where on your list of priorities do you fall? Are any of your basic needs for nurturing represented on the list? For example, “Have you made a note to yourself to check in with the softer, feminine side, of your nature? Have you asked the inner woman how she is doing and what she might need from you?” Or, is the connection you have with your core self so muddled with other peoples’ needs and priorities you no longer have a clear picture of where your personal needs start and the needs of others end? Possibly you are at an emotional breaking point and escaping to the moon actually sounds like a viable alternative to where you currently find yourself. Unfortunately, your impulse to run, if acted upon, only takes you further away from yourself and out of a relationship with those you love.
The truth is you can’t frame a practice of self-care through a lens of escape. It doesn’t make any sense. How do you escape from yourself? You can’t. To successfully care for yourself, you have to actually be in relationship with yourself! Separate from those you care about, you too have your own set of authentic needs for happiness, peace, love, and fulfillment which brings me to the purpose behind the intent of this blog.
The intent of this blog is to help you cultivate a loving and caring relationship with the power of feminine presence. Without a strong relationship bond with your core self, your attempts to implement a practice of self-care is limited. Ultimately, the most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself, which is why repairing and nurturing the bond within is the starting point for your self-care practice. All endeavors flow from the principle of self-acceptance. In other words, to put your heartfelt needs first, you have to truly believe you matter.
What is interesting to me is that in my work, I have found most women, both accomplished power-yielding professionals and devoted stay-at-home moms alike, will admit that they secretly feel selfish if they put their needs first. Needless to say, the emotional schism creates a dilemma, because the only one who can care for you is you. Doesn’t it, therefore, make sense that you have to put yourself first?
To find the balance you seek, you have to turn toward your authentic heart, the home, and the hearth of the inner woman. You have to trade in the hard-driving masculine concept of self-care which is based on the idea of “doing” and exchange the idea for a self-care practice based on a feminine perspective of just “being”.
To accomplish the task, you have to value the idea of “being yourself”. To fortify the shift in perspective, you have to avoid the number one cultural temptation, which encourages the idea that “just being” is a waste of time. Instead, learn to love yourself. At all times, keep in the forefront of your mind the affirmation that you are a woman first, not a project, “a thing”, to manipulate at will. You are a human being, with a feminine presence, who deserves to be attended to … by you!
How do you take care of yourself?
To begin your renewal process, turn inward.
Take a breath and bring the focus of your attention to your heart.
With a welcoming spirit, invite the inner woman into a conversation.
Let her know you are ready to listen to her and hear what she has to say.
If at first you are met with silence, be patient. Like a long lost friend, it may take time to get reacquainted and become familiar with the part of you that you have lost touch with.
This month, make sure you check in with yourself daily. Your gesture of self-acceptance goes a long way and is not lost on the neglected part of you that is waiting to come out from behind the shadows, the veils of unconsciousness, and dance with you in the light of your life.
For support, look for the weekly Feminine Presence: Own the Power self -care suggestions on the home page. There, you will find little ideas and tasks that will support the monthly Joan’s Blog, I will be writing with you in mind.
This is the first of many monthly blogs to come. In each blog, I will provide you with thoughts on how to cultivate a practice of self-care and renewal based in a foundation of feminine presence. My heartfelt desire is to provide you with tips that have meaning and value to you. To do so, I need your support.
Please help me build a dynamic blog by sharing your ideas, stories, and comments. Let me know if you have any favorite ideas for just “being.” Let me know what the power of feminine presence means to you and how you might apply your thoughts to enhance a practice of emotional self-care. I look forward to hearing from you.
Joan Shaver, LMFT
Author, Lipstick and Soul
Be Bold * Be Beautiful * Be True to Yourself