Getting to: “I can do that!”
Every time I open up a magazine I see yet another article addressing the issue of how you can take care of yourself. Some articles are written so cleverly I actually wish I had written them myself. Others are so full of statistics I get dizzy trying to retain all of the latest information in my head. The ones I like the best seem to be articles that offer common-sense solutions to the age-old problem of how to find “the time” to care for yourself. No matter how often I read the familiar-sounding articles, I come in contact with my own vulnerability. I wonder if I will be able to follow through and do what is needed to once again get back in touch with myself.
As I have said before, I like to frame any self-care action I take within a consciousness of a feminine presence. Translated, the idea becomes synonymous with self-nurturing actions and states of being that support authentic well-being. So true to tradition, when I have finished perusing through fashion, health, entertainment, and cooking magazines, that fill my mind with so much promise, I am left with one idea, which is “What is realistically possible for me? What new idea and or way of “being” can I actually implement that will work for me?
Interestingly, the answer to the question is fairly simple. After years of leading women and relationship workshops, I discovered there is a special little phrase that when consciously uttered brings with it clarity of purpose followed by the success of the implementation. The four little words “I can do that!” When effortlessly expressed, the few little words inspire hope, ignite magic and instill self-confidence. It is as if your whole “being” awakens. If you take a moment to pause and tune into yourself, you can actually feel the unity and strength within the heart-mind-body and soul connection. The experience reminds me of those special moments during a symphony when all of the separate instruments in the orchestra converge together to make one beautiful sound of music. In the same way, when you hear yourself say the words “I can do that” accompanied by a little element of surprise at the ease with which the words flowed out of your mouth, just know you are on the right track. All of the various parts of you are united into one voice, with one purpose, which is to support you!
Now, let’s take a look at how to get to the moment of “I can do that!”
How do you take care of yourself?
As always, tune into yourself as you take a deep breath.
Focus on the idea of self-care that you are interested in implementing. For example, you might read an article that says, “To refresh yourself: Pause and turn inward for two minutes at least six times a day.” You love the idea of refreshing yourself. Yet, besides the point of having to remember to pause, you know in your gut that pausing six times a day, “for two whole minutes!” is way beyond what you know you can commit to. You also know for sure that you do not want to be fretting about making sure you get to number six. How counter-productive would that be!? So what to do?
Build the habit of turning to the inner woman and ask her for help. Once you are in relationship with her, find out what she has to say about any suggestion you are considering. For example, ask her if six pauses a day, for two whole minutes, is realistic for you.
Then, with all your heart, listen. Be patient. Listen until you experience, like a whisper, either a “yes” or a “no” response. Be aware the response often comes in the form of an inner knowing.
If you have not received a “yes” nod, then work your way down through the numbers until you get to a place where you hear yourself saying, “Yes, I can do that!” Once there, take a moment to connect within. Let yourself experience the moment of completion.
Voila, you have now customized your self-care practice.
If for some reason you do not come to the “Yes, I can do that!” place, continue to bite-size the suggestions until you hear the “yes” response. For example, you may come up with the idea that you will “think” about the idea of pausing and implement the action of pausing at a later date.
If you do not get to the “Yes, I can do that”, then let it go. Tell yourself this is not a workable idea for you, at this time. Your commitment to the truth will bring with it a sigh of relief that will most certainly be accompanied by an “I can do that!”
Keep in mind, the inner woman, once you tune into her, will never fail you. She will always support you. She is your authentic truth and guiding light within.
Please let us know about any little tips you have learned that get you to “I can do that”. Also, let us know you customize your self-care practice? Thank you for sharing.
Joan Shaver, MFT
Author: Lipstick and Soul
Be Bold * Be Beautiful * Be True to Yourself